In the effort to evade the courting of a local Club Promoter, I told him that I had to stay home to job search to which he replied, “Oh, good. I like a girl with goals.” Two things crossed my mind: 1) he tried to impress me with his self-implied ambition and 2) how many goalless women has he met to be so shocked that I, a single female, is actively looking for a job? To champion the typical female stereotype of Gold Digger fueled my drive to secure employment. And, ironically, I have joined his line of work, but in the financial industry as a Promotions Specialist.
Recognizing the changing roles of women, as discussed in yesterday’s post, got me thinking about my recent change in priorities. Earlier this year and during much of my time in college, I desired to join the Arts. “As long as I am happy, I am OK with being poor,” I told myself as I hustled through New York networking and scouring the theater scene. Much to my dismay, I found that many females in the arts can do so because they married well-paid husbands.
The efforts of the feminist movement from the political Susan B. Anthony to the fashionable flappers to the Third Wave feminists of today are marked by a continuation of female progress in politics, in their personal lives, in the work force, and in the arts. Shocking to discover that despite the popularity of Sex and the City and the Vagina Monologues, a Princeton study confirmed that the failure of women progress in theater is due to biases by women artistic directors (who rank female playwrights lower than male playwrights).
Perhaps, women want to challenge women to up their game in this male dominated world but if a man is considered artistic because he threw a bunch of Zombies in a Jane Austin novel, the standard isn’t that high.
The bottom line is that I never want to be impressed by someone because he can offer me something materialistic. Impressed with his personable charisma and overall character? Yes. Impressed with his skills and direct line of work? Perhaps. Impressed with the fact that he can afford to fly to France tomorrow. And take me with him? NO.
I’d be impressed if he could fly me to the moon. But not many men could afford to fly me back … so forget that. And the desire for financial independence changed my goals.
Sadly, these hard times has driven some women to cling to men — the return of concubines in China, (village girls who seek rich and powerful city men to take care of them), being one example. However, financial independence is what we Modern Women owe to our pioneers.
In addition, despite a recent poll report that 80% of males and females are OK with women getting paid more than men, we live in an age where people divorce each other with a the drop of a dime and are even quicker to leave a bad situation. Women cannot solely rely on the male factor to decide their fate.
Perhaps it is a cop out to choose a profession that is not my first interest. But the do or die mentality is for those willing to die. And I do not. Is there a fault in that?
–T.A.
